How'd You Do It
by dcj
Summary: How do you move on after something like that?  How do you move forward when you're in uncharted territory and you really have no idea what you're doing?  Maybe you ask someone who's been there.  Help can come from an unlikely source.


Just a quick one-shot that popped into my head. Not sure where it came from, but I thought it was an interesting idea. Hope you enjoy it.

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><p>It had been three long and trying days since they had been pulled out of that house. Almost seventy hours since he had been left on his own and still no word. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but he had really hoped that he would hear something...anything.<p>

Each morning he had woken up thinking today was the day that it would happen; today he would finally be able to move forward. He was tired of being stuck in limbo, but with each passing day, his hope dimmed. _Maybe that visit would never come; maybe it was wishful thinking. He deserved to know didn't he? _

On the fourth day, he finally received a visitor. He tried not to get his hopes up; it didn't necessarily mean what he thought it would mean. Still he couldn't help but hope.

His eyes widened when he saw her waiting for him; he wasn't sure what he was expecting but from the look on her face it wasn't what he had been hoping for.

"Hello." She said quite formally.

A ghost of a grin appeared on his face; again not what he was expecting. "Hello."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air between them as they both stood sizing each other up. She remained uncharacteristically quiet and it was him who finally took the lead. "What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to talk to you. I was hoping to get some...answers."

"Hmmm."

"Do you mind?"

"Depends what you want to know."

The question she started with wasn't the one she really wanted, no needed, an answer to but it was still an important piece to the puzzle. She didn't think Sam blamed her but it was hard not to blame herself.

"Was it my fault that you made Sam as a cop?"

_Sam...So that was his real name. _"What does he think?" He answered taking a seat in one of the chairs at the small table.

"I'm not entirely sure."

Brennan just studied her trying to determine if she was being honest with him. _How could she not know? They were quite obviously together in all this...unless he wasn't talking to her now because he thought it was her fault..._

Andy decided to spare him the task of figuring it all out. "We were suspended for conduct unbecoming."

He waited for her to continue as that still didn't explain why she wouldn't know what her partner, or boyfriend, or whatever it was that he was thought.

"We're not allowed to see each other...part of the conditions of the suspension."

"I wouldn't have pegged you two for rule followers." He observed more than sure they shouldn't have been seeing each other when he met her as Candace either.

"Yeah, well. It's never been Sam's strong suit, but this time it could mean our jobs so we figure we could wait it out if we had to."

Brennan raised his eyebrows in question; he was having trouble believing that, when the two of them couldn't even go a week without seeing each other while the man was supposed to be deep under cover. "How long's it been?" He wondered, having remembered seeing her at the scene.

"3 days, 6 hours and about 37 minutes, but who's counting." She returned, not bothering to check her watch.

Brennan graced her with a deep and surprisingly joyful laugh. "No offense, _Candace, _but I don't think you're going to make it."

Andy couldn't help but return his smile and he could see what _JD_ saw in her and why it would be hard for the man to stay away.

"How long?"

"Excuse me?"

"The suspension...how long?"

"We have our hearings tomorrow, but I've heard the standard is at least 2 weeks."

"I give it another day." Brennan predicted.

She rolled her eyes at him. "We do have some self control you know."

"Sure you do. How **was** Wisconsin anyway?"

She couldn't blame him for his skepticism; so rather than fight a losing battle, she decided to get back to her question. "Did you make Sam as a cop because of me?"

He recognized the topic change for what it was, and quietly accepted his victory. "Why does it matter?"

"Peace of mind, I suppose."

"But what if it was, your fault I mean?"

"I'm already in hell; if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well go all out."

Again he just looked at her and waited for her to answer honestly.

"I guess...I mean...2 years on the job and I hope I'm at least getting a little better at it." She scoffed to herself when she thought of her very first try at undercover.

He raised his eyebrows in question.

"Let's just say that my first attempt at undercover was less than stellar, and I was hoping I made a better insurance agent than I did a hooker. Well, that and the detective in charge said I didn't stand a chance; that you had to have made me and that's why everything went to shit."

"Why the hell would you listen to him?"

"What do you mean?"

Brennan's face hardened and she could see why he was someone to be feared. "Was he the one that covered it up?"

She didn't have to ask what he meant by that; though Andy was surprised that he made the connection that quickly. "Let's just say he has a hearing to attend in the near future as well."

Brennan nodded thoughtfully, hoping justice might finally be served for his wife and child. "I wouldn't put a lot of stock in anything that bastard had to say. It's pointless."

Andy flashed back to her conversation with Boyd when he used that exact word. She had just brought up the accident and the fact that Brennan didn't think it was an accident, and that's when Boyd turned on her. _He was afraid that the truth was going to come out about the crash so he had to shut her down by shifting the blame. He was covering it up. Maybe she didn't get made, but there was only one way to find out._ "Why did you let me go?"

"I couldn't be completely sure. I was suspicious sure, but there were things that didn't add up. I approached you in the bar, not _JD_. And when you came back, _JD_ said no but I told him to go after you. At that point, you were definitely still _Candace_ from _Wisconsin_."

"So...if I hadn't been there that morning, if we hadn't talked..." She was starting to feel the guilt creep back in.

"Are you looking for a reason to blame yourself?"

"What? No!"

"Does _JD_ think it's your fault?" He was trying to figure out just where she was coming from.

"I don't think so, he did say once it was all on Boy..." She stopped herself there, not certain how much he was going to be told or how strong his urge for revenge was. "I don't think so."

Brennan wasn't sure what she was about to say, but filed it away for future reference before continuing. "When I caught you at _JD's_ place that morning, I was coming over to have it out with him because I thought he was dealing from my warehouse. The doubts started with him though not you; the minute he mentioned the name of _his_ boat, that's when it clicked. After that I just wanted information; no matter what you said I needed answers so I thought I'd start with you before I 'talked' to _JD_. I wanted to know how you fit into everything; if you were trying to take me down too...if you were involved in the cover up. Your story sounded a little too convenient, but it didn't make sense as to why you would be there. When we talked in the car, it still wasn't adding up, but then you started talking about your father, mother, fiancé..." He looked up at her then and without question stated, "that wasn't a lie."

"No, it wasn't." She admitted.

"I guess that's the main reason why I let you go and if you remember I pretty much told you that. I knew that was the truth and I knew that you were an innocent bystander. Plus you reminded me too much of how my family was put in danger simply because they cared about me...and I just couldn't do it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I thought you were a cop or not because it didn't really matter at that point and I was done thinking about it; I knew I wasn't going to do anything to you so I chose to believe that you were not involved."

"For what it's worth, I am sorry about your family." Andy offered sincerely.

"It's worth a lot; thank you." He answered before continuing with a grin. "I don't know if you realize this but I don't have a very healthy respect for the law or the police."

Andy shook her head and let out a small chuckle. _No kidding._

"But you, and that partner of yours...you just might be an exception to that. Rule breakers or not, I can see that you do this because you want to do right by people. And the way your partner handled himself that night; he's definitely a stand up guy."

"Yes he is." Andy agreed quietly.

"So does doing right by people include someone like me?"

Andy looked at him quizzically.

"Who killed my family? The detective said they had someone in custody and that the case was reopened."

"I have heard that charges have been laid but truthfully I can't tell you a name because I'm in enough trouble already. This case is another thing I'm supposed to stay away from."

She could tell that he was wondering how she could even be here then. "Rule breaker, remember?" She explained to his amusement.

"I won't ask _you _any more then, but they will tell me eventually right?"

"I think they would have to as next of kin, but I really couldn't tell you for sure."

While Brennan mulled over her response, hoping she was indeed right, Andy decided it was now or never; if she was ever going to ask the question, now was her chance. She steeled herself and let out a quick huff of breath in preparation. "How'd you pull it off?"

Jamie was at a loss. She could have meant any number of things: the tortures, kidnappings, evading the police, and for a second he couldn't help but become suspicious again. _Had she been lulling him into a false sense of security? Was she trying to get some kind of confession?_

"What do you mean?" He asked warily.

"After doing all those things...terrible things...hurting those people...how were you able to be...just normal?"

"The only thing they have me on is what I did to _JD_. I didn't say I did any of those things, and I'm not about to."

"You already told me you weren't always a nice guy...I **can** put two and two together, but I'll leave it up to the powers that be to figure out the details. I just want to know how you go from gang enforcer to suburban family man. How do you go from gun shots and murder to a wife and a kid and a two car garage in Brampton?"

_That was easy. _"Because I felt more alive the first time I was with her than I had in my entire life. And she deserved a good life and I wanted to give it to her. For the first time in a long time, I was truly happy and I wasn't about to do anything that would ruin it."

"The first time you hear the words I love you from the person you most want to say it; there is nothing like it, and you know that you will do anything to keep that smile on their face and on yours. And if they feel even one tenth of what you feel, you know that you'll never do anything that will cause them any pain and if that means playing it safe and giving up most of what you know, that's what you'll do. If that means stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you've never done before, you'll do it. Thing is with the right person normal becomes extraordinary, and when that love produces a child; I can't even explain how far I was willing to go."

"Believe me; normal is a piece of cake because if you want it bad enough, you're willing to do anything to make it happen. And normal isn't boring; it isn't doing nothing. It's whatever you make it and as long as you're doing it together you know it will all work itself out. You think of them first and what they would like and you don't mind because if they're happy you're happy. And you don't miss the adrenaline rush you used to get from doing something dangerous, because the feeling you get from simply sitting with them makes your pulse race and your palms sweat."

As he seemed to retreat further into his own thoughts, Andy immediately felt saddened for what he had lost...for what had been taken from him and she knew in that moment that trying to be normal, no trying to be normal **with Sam **was exactly what she wanted to do;_ she already felt so much of what Brennan described so how hard could it be._

"Unexpected things will still come up; the difference is you don't have to face it alone. And it's so much better that way. It isn't something you have to pull off. You don't have to try to be normal; you just are because you are together and whatever you do becomes your normal. And you wouldn't have it any other way."

Done with his self reflection, he met her eye. "When the chance comes, grab it. And whatever you had planned for your life, whatever you thought your life was going to be, it doesn't matter anymore because now you know what's important and you'll do whatever you have to, to protect it."

Somehow he was pretty sure the chance was already at her fingertips, now she just had to hang on to it. He could see her mulling over everything he had said, and he knew in that moment that this was the answer she had come for. There were no ulterior motives.

"Were you scared you'd screw it up?" She wondered aloud.

"Of course, I was; I knew what I'd done and I had no idea what I was doing then. But if that person means enough to you, I'm wrong and I'm sorry are easy and they definitely go a long way. And if you need some space, you take it; because time apart just means you appreciate together even more. As long as you both know you won't quit, space works sometimes."

"You'll make it." He assured her.

"What do you mean?" _How did he know she was thinking about herself?_

He looked at her knowingly. "When you figured out that he was gone, what did you do?"

"I went to his apartment to see for myself, asked where he was..." _Okay maybe it was more like a scream, but he didn't need to know that,_ she thought avoiding his gaze. "Then I did whatever I could to help find him and bring him back."

"Candace?"

She looked back at him. "It's Andy."

He nodded. "The first thing he said that night...after he woke up, after I took the gag off...was 'where the hell is Candace'. I just thought you might want to know."

Andy gave him a small smile and a quick nod of gratitude before standing up, turning and walking out.

As she made her way home in Traci's borrowed car, she tried to keep her thoughts focused on the driving, but it was another losing battle and she knew her entire night would be consumed with thoughts of Sam and being normal together. _ If you want it bad enough..._

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><p>The following day, Jamie was again pulled from his cell. If he was surprised to see his second visitor in as many days, he didn't show it.<p>

He regarded the man thoughtfully, noting that the bruises had faded though the brace was still on his wrist. The question on the man's lips...did not surprise him in the least.

"So, how'd you do it?"

Brennan didn't even bother to ask him what he meant.


End file.
